Yes, i miss the times when his smile was...
































only for me

OMG
I'm so bored.
I got the flu and i feel like dying.

My throat hurts, and so do my head and nose.

I'm having so much fun! *sarcasm off*

nah, really.. the last weekend before i get back to uni... spent in bed, sick.
T_T

This was a weird summer.
Before i only had good summers and bad summers.
But this had a lil quota of bad things and a lil of good.
And, i don't remember a summer where i've cried more than this.
weird weird.

oh and, dad left us.
that's a good thing.


:D

tonight.. i will be stronger than a month ago.
and the past weeks.

:)

I'm crying my heart out...

How is it my mood is going down more and more everyday?

When you think you're starting to be happy again, a bigger bomb falls over your heart's rubble... now i knpw, it happens everytime.

Yes, i've been sad, since i've got back from my vacation... my heart is broken.
As always, the guy i like, is not interested a little in me. He gave me wings... yeah, then after a few days, he blowed them away, hurting my heart... and my pride.. overall.

Yesterday, i thought everything was going to be alright, i just cried in the morning, a little bit, because the memory of his childish smile makes me sad... and his tickles... and becaus i was reading our chat logs, one of the many things that confirm what happened was real and not a crazy fantasy i have in my mind.
After that, my day was ok. My day was pretty, shiny.

I talked to beautiful people, who gave me a happiness boost. I laughed sincerely after days of despair...
My heart was healing.

But 2 hours ago... the bigger bomb exploded, breaking my heart in pieces again.
Everyone knows mom and dad haven't been in good terms for months, they're going to divorce.
That has never affected me at all... i'm pro divorce if the things at home are being unsustainable.
I'm even looking for a new place for me and mom, we were supposed to move out this month... but i went to the beach and had to postpone our plans.

And also, everyone knows... i can't stand my father like... usually.
We're always fighting...

Mom told me, she wouldn't go back with mi dad ever... even if someone pays the biggest amount of money for her to come back together. Because she had a strong reason and couldn't tell anybody.

I've been trying to persuade her to tell me what the reason is, with no success at all.

Then, today... they got up for going to work.
And dad asked mom for money because he hadn't got any.. for the bus and metro taxes.
Mom refused... and they started fighting.

She got really angry, and started insulting my dad... then the truth came out. The thing mom has been hiding for like 3 weeks...
I can't tell you... but it's unforgivable... and it's not even infidelity... ._.

What am i supposed to do? HE DID SOMETHING TERRIBLE.
TERRIBLE!!
YOUR DAD IS SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR ROLE MODEL!!! AND WE'VE LIVED BLIND... FOR 20 YEARS.
We aren't that close... yeah... but i love him... he's my dad.... and he hadn't the right to do what he did. No one does.

I waited until mom and dad walked out of the house... grabbed my laptop and locked myself up at dad's bedroom. I've been crying all this time. Wondering... would these news affect me a lil bit less... if i had... HIM... right by my side? would it feel better if i could cry my heart out like i'm doing right now on his shoulder?

And it hurts more, if i try to imagine what my dad did plus the baby smile of him...
I can't help it.

I'm BEING EMO! SO WHAT.
i have the right too.


don't like? then.. delete.



And, I've had a happy life after all... mom almost died... 9 years ago.... and i've been happy!
why do i feel so miserable right now?

I'm.. supposed to be happy.

And yes, my phone line has been suspended because dad didn't pay... so i have to write all this... just because i can't call my best friend or anyone and tell them what's happening...

Yep.
I'm missing in action.

Some family problems... with my dad who's such a douche bag.
i've been "disinherited".

ha ha ha.


but good news.
i'll move to a new house soon... with mom.

and..

next wednesday...
off to the beach with my classmates.. until the 26th.

Friday
so... i was supposed to get to fuu's house early but before even getting up, i got a call from my uni, it was the administrator.

she told me that my credits and scholarships don't cover the complete year and i have to pay all my debt in order to apply for 2009's subjects.

i had to cancel my little meeting (sorry girls ._.) and go to the bank, make a few draws and go to my uni and pay... but it wasn't enough, so i went to my dad's work and on monday i have to go again. ._.

i hate bein' a middle class girl..

well..
i got back home like at 8:40 PM and i had to get ready for Giovanni's (a friend and uni classmate) 20th birthday party.
i had to meet with a friend in the metro station at 10PM, but i was kinda late and arrived at 10:30.
We took a bus to Giova's house and arrived at 10:50....
all of my close classmates (the ones i always hang out with) were there already plus other giovanni's friends from higschool and some relatives.
we danced, ate, drank and talked a lot... and of course.. i had so much fun, as always when i am with them.

from left to right, i'll try to name us in order so you can tell who's who:
toselli (the one with the hat), tebo (he guy with a grey shirt and glasses), nathy (the girl with the black shirt), me (love my face there.. miraculous makeup ;D), cami (the girl with black hair and red pants), oso (the big guy with a overgrown beard), tobal (the floating head besides oso), giova (birthday bguy with the orange shirt and a glass of vodka orange), bastich (the one with the big smile) and pelao (my sis' ex and the one with a grey shirt... also with a big smile). there are lots of people missing in the picture, but this is the prettiest photo i could find ;D

i came back home at 7AM on saturday ;D. cuz mom couldn't make it to pick me up...
and we missed Jenny a lot... she couldn't go because her mom didn't let her.

--------

Saturday

I woke up at 2 pm and had lunch in bed.
Then i played the classic and amazing "Super Mario World" until i got tired of it and mom came to ask me if i wanted to go and buy some french fries with her and also said she had something to tell me.

i can't tell you much, but her sister is a biatch.
she's saying everywhere that mom has an affair with a former boyfriend.. and those are all lies.
she's going to pay for this. i mean it.

but mom is taking it easy, cuz she noes she hasn't done anything like that.
so we had our french fries and returned ;D

i realised 2 wisdom teeth are growing inside my mouth...
it hurts.. but i like that kind of pain... dentist appointment next week ;D

----------

Sunday

Tell u later, it's 1:39 AM and i haven't done anything productive.


-----------

Oh! and.. it's confirmed.
I'll be off to the beach from the 21st until the 26th, with my uni friends ;D
i don't like the beach, because i want to keep my pale white and ice cold skin, but i'll have fun, just because i'll be with them.
i'll try to stay most of the time under the parasol watching how they get their precious and dear sunburns ;D
Pina promised i would get drunk that week.
i doubt it ;D, but let's see.

so, today... i woke up late and realised dad had taken the internet device and went out for paying some bills.
a good way, according to him, to make us clean the house.

i had to wait until 4PM... x_x
i hate him so much.
also, for lunch, mom decided to give us lettuce and grilled chicken.. OMG I HATE LETTUCEEE!! >_<

later, my friend stefany said she'd come to catch up with the gossip girl eps... but she abandoned me for her boyfriend... they've seen each other for 3 consecutive days! o_o... she doesn't have enough time for me... we live like.. 3 houses away and we see each other kinda 2 times a year.

tomorrow i'm going to the cinema, a friend who works there invited me to watch "Twilight".
so, i didn't refuse the invitation, just because i haven't watched it.

and i'm waiting for the new gossip girl episodes, that start tomorrow ;')

I knew this on friday, but my happines won't go away that easy.

I PASSED MATH!!!! *0*!

it wasn't a 100, not even a good mark, but i passed, that's the only thing that counts XD.




sorry if it kills your friends page.

OMG, 2 week and my "summer vacation" will start.
2 weeks full of exams and tests, and homeworks dues, projects and stuff.
Today i had 2 tests.
i arrived late to the first, programming...
and i could do a half of it.

then i had math test... omg... I DID IT WELL BUT I JUST GOT 2 OF 4 SOLUTIONS!!
X_X

I'll get like an 80 x_x.


how is everyone doing?
hope well ;D

EROTICMIROTIC FULL MV!
ok.. look at this XD



sorry if i kill your friends page, but this HAS TO BE POSTED!

What a weird weekend!! haha

well... i won't tell u everything.. just some important things :D
On friday i went to Guido's birthday party (one of my university friends) and it was totally fun.
I came back home on saturday at 6 am. x_x

then i slept until 4 PM and received a call from misha for saying something about the place we were going to meet. I said i wouldn't be able to make it to that place so i would go straight forward to jungryog's house.
Well... i was too lazy so ... i decided to go like... at 7 PM. after showering and helping mom to clean up the house a little bit.

now.. the traumatic experience:
To make it short, i had to go to the metro station, then go back for putting some money to my cellphone.
When i got to the station i had to... i took a bus.
The bus driver didn't stop in the bus stop i had to get out. he dropped me in the next bus stop.
When i was going to cross the street... a man stood up beside me... seeming to wait for the cars to pass, then cross the street.
Then a taxi was near.
the man looked at the taxi and rushed himself to the front of the car.
the taxi hit him and he flew across the street.
he tried to commit suicide. JUST ONE METER FROM WHERE I WAS STANDING!
i was in shock o_o.

then i finished crossing the street, looking at the place the man was knocked down.
the mos traumatic thing was that the man didn't die.
he stood up like nothing has happened, like it was usual!

his face was bloodstained and he was limping. and he started to walk down the same sidewalk i was going while a lot of people was insulting him.
Then i looked behind my back and there he was, like 10 meters from me, with his back pushed back to a wall, and starting to walk the same direction as me.
then i thought he would do anything to me.. and crossed the street back to the other sidewalk.... what if he was some kind of sicko? x_x

i called my friends telling them to come for me asap.
i was about to cry x_x but then i saw my girls :) and calmed down, but i was still in shock.

then we got to jungryog's place (hyukpan, Misha and me) and had fun all night long.
We watched some music shows, then some movies.
the first was Lee Junki and Aoi Miyazaki's "Virgin Snow" (Hatsuyuki no koi).
What a terribly beautiful movie :(. I cried a lot. but... seriously, seeing Junki crying, made me shed more tears than the whole story XD.





then we watched "Final Destination 3"... hahahaha XD.
i fell asleep at 5 am. and woke up like... at 10 am today.
Misha left and we started watching "We got married", a very interesting korean show.

and Alex made me cry. :(
his song is so cute... T_T

now.. i have the song stuck on my head, so.. i'll post the lyrics. :)
of course, they may be dedicated to someone i'm interested in, who knows?
yeah.. some of you know XD.



( Click here to read one of the most beautiful lyrics... )

Thanks to my O.P.U. girls.
for giving me a special day, as always.
I love you so much girls :)


edit:

i forgot to tell you.
from now on, my livejournal will be semi-friends only.
i'll lock all the posts where i talk about "him". ok :)?
just in case ^^.

love u all.

Tomorrow's the first battle of a war i lost last semester.
The first math exam of the 2nd semester.

i'm studying right now.


wish me luck! ^^

edit:

btw, i forgot to tell u.

I PASSED MY FIRST PHYSICS EXAM!! *_*
(i failed every physics exam last semester, x_x so i failed the subject, but... now.. i'm quite sure i'll pass everything)


FIGHTING!!!!

So.
Katharine is a biatch!

if you use "poupee girl" you'll understand how i feel.

I HAD TO SELL LIKE 4 BEAUTIFUL JACKETS T______________T



------------


today i'm sad.
TVfXQForever is gonna close.

and... SM Entertainment is holding auditions for everyone, not only asians.
CRAP.


------------

But something made me really happy before i knew all that.....

.you.


:)!

I got the flu x_x
i'm recovering slowly.

And lately, my mood hasn't been good.
I think it's stress.
You know.. i failed 2 subjects and i'm afraid to fail them again.

1 test, 3 upcoming exams and a report to write in the next 2 weeks.

Dates:

Sept, 1st: Programming Exam + Algebra Test.
Sept, 4th: Physics Exam.
Sept, 8th: Calculus & Algebra Exam + Programming report.

And concerning my crush, i'm still single, and i haven't got the guts to do something about it.
Although, i've made some progress :D.

Verito knows.
haha.

I'm missing a lot of people, but i'm afraid i can't meet them until i finish the 1st batch of exams.

Wish me luck! :D



ps: look! a new layout... feat. happy chun to make me smile.

I'm a stalker, so what? :D

OMG.. what an useless week!
we started classes again, but... i had like... 1 class a day.

and i had to wait until the end of everyday to figure out i didn't have more classes >_<  that pised me off.
but i saw my  classmates again, and even though we don't have many classes together, we have fun on breaks and those fugly windows XD.

as for my crush, nothing has changed, he's still the same cute, nice and caring guy.
i wish we had something more than that.

i'll let the time decide XD.