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04 February 2009 @ 06:12 am
#66 · back and heartbroken  
SO!!!

I HAD A WONDERFUL TIME AT THE BEACH!
Everyday was wonderful. Just because of one crazy thing that happened there.
I made out with one of my friends... and that kept me happy for a week and a half.
He's so gentle and pure.
Everything was just wonderful... after we got back to the beach we (2 friends and i) even travelled to his hometown for the weekend...
I repeat... everything was just wonderful... until sunday morning.
He said he had an inexplicable confusion...
On saturday he went to bed feeling something for me and woke up confused on sunday... he didn't pay attention to me in the whole day, and i didn't even know why... he would pay attention to everyone and everything but me.
I felt sad. Because we both thought this was going to work, we even thought about what was goin' to happen when he was back from his one month vacation... everything was going to be beautiful... he said he would be so happy to see me back at uni. He would kiss me in front of everyone who didn't know about us. We would be together.
But now he said he has to think about it... and he didn't even say that to me... jenny told me.
I feel heartbroken...
i've been feeling empty for 3 days.
and he even talks to jenny (one of the friends who travelled with me) but he won't call or text.
he didn't even text me saying: "hey, we arrived... i'm ok", i had to ask jenny about that.

Hope this feeling would disappear before we go back to uni, so that i can look him in the eyes and continue being friends, just because he's a beautiful person and i don't want to lose all we had built in a year for what happened in one week.

After all, i was just attracted to him until this happened... because he wasn't the crush i talked to you about all the past year... now i like him very much... and i can't hate him because he isn't guilty like my ex-crush (i hate him now... because i talked a lot to Consuelo at the beach and he's just a mask... but the real him is like shit).

That's all.
My heart has to go on.
 
 
 
Tam the squishable kittentamgerine on February 5th, 2009 08:03 am (UTC)
He sounds awesome, but ALL boys have their retarded moments :P